Stalin VS Hitler

Here’s a little something I found…

Rough translation:
Guard: My… Fuhrer… He… He’s here!
Hitler: Impossible! He won’t dare to enter the very heart of Aryan might!
Scared guard: Run! He cannot be stopped!
Stalin: And so we met, Adolph…
Hitler: You?
Stalin: I offered you friendship, but you preferred to start a war. Now I came to destroy you.
Hitler: Caucasian untermensh! I’m at the peak of my power now!
(Stalin attacks)
Hitler: that’s all you’ve got? All the power of German nation is in my hands! That power will eradicate you! (Stalin is blasted with power)
Hitler: HAHAHAHA!!!
(many years ago, at Razliv)
Lenin: Not bad, pal, but you are making a mistake. Our power lies in laws of historical imminency. You should learn to control those laws… (light comes from Lenin’s raised hand) Watch and learn, Coba!

…and more…

…continuing translation
Stalin: I didn’t came unarmed, Adolph (blasts Hitler)
Stalin: My marshal’s rod is an embodyment of unstoppable will of victory of the multi-national Soviet people!
Hitler: Nein!
Hitler: Stalin, stop! You need me! Two great people can always come to an agreement!
Stalin: Shilkgruber and Jugashvili could agree, but for Hitler and Stalin, there can be no peace!
(Scorceny jumps in through the window)
Hitler: I knew you wouldn’t leave your Fuhrer, Scorceny! Stop Stalin, and I’ll make you a governor of Eastern lands!
(Scorceny fires his machinegun)
Hitler: My life is too important for the Reich to risk it! (runs away) A real strategist knows when it’s time for a retreat! (runs through underground tunnel) (jumps into a plane) Fuhrer goes to Argentina!
(Scorceny watches Stalin, unharmed my the bullets)
Stalin: Your stupid lead cannot stop the wheel of history…

…and even more…

Stalin: I know who you are, the man with scars. You are the one Hitler stitched together from the parts of killed SS-men, and then he animated you with his magic.
Scorceny: Where lead can do nothing… (takes an axe) …the steel will have it’s word!
Stalin (unfolds his marshal rod into a sword): That will be your last word!
Hitler (in a plane): take my last present, Stalin! (drops the bomb) HAHAHAHA!!!
Scorceny (being hit by Stalin’s sword): SS-men don’t ever surrender!
Stalin: That’s because no one wants to take you prisoner!
(bomb falls in through the window)
Scorceny: The Weapon of Retribution!

…and finally the last part.

(Stalin flies up from the mushroom cloud)
Stalin: Stalin learned to control the fission energy back in 1917! Your weapon gave me new power, Hitler!
Scared Hitler: What? That’s impossible! Nooo!!!
(Hitler’s plane explodes)
Hitler (in complete darkness): What happened to me? Am I alive?
(everything turns white)
Hitler: or maybe I’m dead? What is that place? Limbo… That’s Limbo. I’m dead.
(Hilter looks at the Valkyries)
Hitler: Valkyries came for the Fuhrer!
(Stalin appears)
Hitler: Stalin? You aren’t dead! What are you doing here? You’ll regret you killed me - where will you find such an enemy now? Stalin cannot be without Hitler! Why are you silent? You came to gloat? That’s for nothing! I will be in Valhalla!
Stalin: There is no Valhalla. Every seminarian knows that.
(Stalin disappears)
Hitler: Disappeared. Why does he always has the last say? And Valkyries are gone. Something’s wrong…
Hitler: But what if he’s right? If there is no Valhalla… (looks at the flames around him) WHERE AM I GOING???
The end.


I can’t understand a word, but that still kicks ass.

Lenin @ Lenin

wow, that is pretty cool/ weird. where did you find it?

Nevermind, already translations… didnt notice them before somehow… or forgot… BEST COMIC EVER.

I found that at some Russian site, can’t remember which one. When something like that pops out, it’s usually talked about for some time at quite a few of them, so it’s easy to find.

Hitler dosen’t look like HItler. He looks like sleepy Hitler

It’s Hitler after he’s been ravaged by the ineffible people’s power of the freeborn republics of the Soviet Union!

Do you have a link to the original website? As I remember they (or some other site) had translations into English + footnotes explaining key facts.

“My marshal’s rod is an embodyment of unstoppable will of victory of the multi-national Soviet people!”
is quite possibly the best sentence I have heard in some time.

I found that on some blog, the author of which just re-posted them. Where he found them initially, I don’t know.
Edit: I found where that comes from. Here it is, with an official translation. Enjoy!

I have a bad scanlation/rewrite somewhere. I think I uploaded it to Smoth’s forum a year or two back.