A Russian humor story

I’ll try to translate this one from Russian, hope it will remain just as fun.

The setting: 1960s, early spring (it’s still quite muddy from recently thawed snow). Soviet Army has some kind of maneuvers. A group of high-ranked officers is standing on a hill and watching the ‘battle’. An old general sits beyond others and seems to have fallen asleep, others politely ‘not noticing’ that (since he’s old).

One of the officers points at a large map and explains what will happen next. So he says:

  • And now our ground-attack aircraft will strike at their positions.
    The old general quickly rises up, hurries to the map and asks:
  • Son, point where exactly they will strike.
    (officer points at a location)
  • And when will they take off?
  • They left the airfield 2 minutes ago.

Old general quickly puts off his visor hat and hides under a nearby APC. Other officers look at him and think “the old man must be insane”.

A moment later, the planes show up. Loud engine sounds, explosions, dirt and smoke flying everywhere… right at the hill the observation post was at. When the smoke cloud dissipates, the officers are fully covered by mud and dirt. They are trying to clean their uniforms, richly swearing in the process. The old general comes from under the APC, his uniform clean, puts on his hat and says with a smile:

  • I remember those F****** ground-attack planes from the war. They never could identify the target properly on the first run!

LoL

Nice yuri. Where can I find the original?

Original is here (2 different stories in that post, I translated the second one).

Another translated story.

A bit of background info. Vasiliy Margelov was the man who shaped Soviet airborne troops from ‘infantry with parachutes’ to the force they are now, he was the Commander of those troops for long years and he’s still a legendary person among those troops (even though USSR is no more and Margelov died in 1990).

So, one night general Margelov gets a phone call from the local police. They tell him that two of his troopers were arrested by the patrol while being drunk and are now locked at the police station. Margelov responds - “those are NOT my troops”.

Next morning, general receives another call: the 2 soldiers sobered up, had broken free from the jail, had beaten up the police who guarded them, had beaten up the OMON (heavy police forces, like SWAT) team, used a table to break the window and escaped police station through that window. General looks happy, like a cat who just stole something tasty from the dining table. “Now those are my troopers!”

xD that one was good, too.